Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Remembering Noah

All day I have been thinking of our precious little boy Noah. It has been one year.

It's been a busy day though...I haven't had much time to really sit down and think and pray and remember like I have wanted to. Our Emmy has been quite fussy lately, but words cannot express how we treasure her and are beyond blessed to have a beautiful baby in our home only a year after we lost Noah. I am cherishing her. Now that I do have a moment to reminisce I am remembering...

...how not many hours after I delivered Noah I had already received a sweet email from a sister in the ward with meals and babysitting all set up

...feeling the genuine love and concern of friends who were far away and were hurting with me

...the special outfit Nate made for Noah

...the beautiful memory of the sun bursting through the clouds during Noah's service

...so many acts of kindness from so many people

...how close I felt to Noah throughout the whole pregnancy. I had mentioned to several people from the start that out of all my pregnancies, for some reason I felt the most spiritually connected to this baby.

...how we decided on the name Noah even though we had never even considered it for our boy. It means rest and comfort.

...how much we grew and learned in such a short period of time from this trial.
When we moved to Ohio we happened to live right next door to a wonderful woman named Karen who was a member of our church. She has blessed our lives from the first day we met her and continues to do so to this day. She goes to Noah's grave site periodically for us and she was there today and took this picture. That meant the world to me. It's hard to be so far away and not be able to go ourselves, but it warms my heart that someone cares enough to do it for us. She emailed me this picture today:

21 comments:

amyandrandy said...

What a wonderful friend you have to go to take such a precious picture for you. I also I remember that outfit to distinctly. I remember thinking what a wonderful gift Nate gave Noah, that outfit, absolutely perfect.

Annie said...

Today we were driving to Battelle Darby park and Bryan had dosed and I was driving and I was actually thinking about you and your little Noah and I honestly didn't even realize today was the day (Karen is AMAZING). I was thinking (seriously) that I should ask you where to find his grave because we never did make it there. Anyways you know I think of you often and wish you would have been here to go to the park. Love you!

Jaime Lynne said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts today, Jessica. Thank you for your perspective and honesty.

Kara said...

So many times when I've thought of this, my first reaction has always been why? of all people, the nye's are already some of the strongest and most faithful people I know, they don't need something like this to make them stronger, right? Then, I realized, as it happened while we were still enduring one of our trials what you guys taught us (and I'm sure everyone else) about how to respond in the most trying of trials. You guys are too awesome and we miss you!

cheeks said...

jessica, i've been thinking about you :) thank you for your sweet words. i'm glad karen was able to send visit noah's grave and send you that picture. so sweet.

Anonymous said...

I've been thinking of Noah lately also. But I didn't realize that it had been a year to the day. I thought it was because of the new baby, maybe or maybe subconciously I did realize. So glad you have little Emmy. Think of her fussiness as spunk...gotta love the spunkie ones. Love and thinking of you always, mom.

Tina said...

I've thought about you TONS this month. I even mentioned it to Tyler during conference and how grateful I was that you have little Emmy in your lives now. You are amazing Jess and you are so strong and such a great mom!! I look up to you so much!! Hope the rest of your month is wonderful!!!

Lara said...

Jessica, I had no idea you lost a baby. I am glad you can find comfort in good friends, loved ones and the gospel. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you! Hugs!

Heather said...

Love you. Miss you. Glad to know you.

kiki comin said...

and here i am bawling just like i was a year ago. sweet post. karen really is one amazing person...and so are the six of you in your family. love ya.

Jessi said...

I can't believe it's been a year! Wow. What a special post. You are such an example to me in SO many ways I am sure you are unaware of. You are your family are so blessed to have each other and to get to have Noah be a part of it. Love you guys!

Ashley M said...

God bless sweet little baby Noah. He has had an impact on ALL of our lives. And what a blessing a wonderful reminder Emmy is of how God is so good.

Monica said...

Totally tearing up reading that post. I too have been thinking of your sweet Noah and will always cherish that special memory of attending his sweet service with you and your family. I can't believe that was one year ago. That so flew by!

Karen is amazing. What a wonderful person.

Shane's Angie said...

I think that outfit Nate made was one of the most precious things I've seen a daddy do. Ever. And I've seen some amazing daddy moments in my years...

Also, I love thinking about little Noah hanging out with your dad. I think he's teaching him how to play hoops, give wet willy's, and how to properly spray off the driveway. Oh, and all the other great things he'll need to know before you take him back over :)

Love you Cola.

Buffy Dayton said...

You are amazing, that is all I have to say...well actually I will say you are inspiring too. Congrats on the little Emmy girl too, she is darling!!! I am a little jealous you get to raise one in the next life when it won't be as hard!!! You are wonderful.

Cara said...

I thought of you during Elder Holland's talk about his dear baby brother. I'm still so sorry for your loss...and also grateful that you will see sweet Noah again. I love you & your sweet family. 4 kids--you are amazing!

Kati said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, I had no idea. You and Nate are such strong spirits and seemed to have handled it better than I could have. What an inspiration of love and spirituality you guys are to me...thank you.

Kami said...

That is so sweet of your neighbor! Love you!

Heather S. said...

Isn't it amazing how much these little infants affect our lives (and others as well). I can't believe it has been a year since you lost Noah. I know for me, it was a difficult day to reach after my Mom had passed away. Up until that point, I felt like I had been with her so recently, so to realize it had been a whole year that I hadn't seen or talked to her was hard. But I didn't want that day to be a day I dreaded ever year, so I made sure to take time reflect on the special moments of "that" day, and all the kindness others showed to our family, or the strength and comfort I felt. Anyway, thanks for posting your personal thoughts. I hope you are doing well.

Lindsey said...

So sweet Jess. As always, you are amazing.

kristie said...

jess, this post was beautiful. i can't tell you how much we miss your sweet little family. your testimony of the gospel is so uplifting and you handled this trial with grace. xo