Tuesday, October 6, 2009
This blog has always been a way for me to record our life and to share things, big and small, with people that we love. This is certainly a more serious and difficult post to write, but definitely an important one and also an opportunity to say that I certainly feel loved at this time...by my Heavenly Father, family, and friends. I am completely overwhelmed by the kind, loving, and thoughtful people that I have in my life.
Last Thursday I got back from a 3 week stay in Utah with family. Nate had been doing another away rotation, this one at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas during that time. My last few days in Utah I had become concerned because I hadn't been feeling the baby move. I was coming up on 25 weeks, and it was somewhat early on in the pregnancy to be feeling consistent movement so I wasn't overly worried, but it definitely weighed on my mind. I prayed hard one day to just feel one really good kick so I could know things were okay, but just never felt anything I KNEW was the baby. I arrived home in Ohio fine and had an absolutely wonderful weekend with Kami (who had flown home with me) watching General Conference and shopping and eating and making things. Nate came home that weekend too...finally finished with those two away rotations. Kami left on Sunday afternoon, and Sunday evening things really kind of fell apart for me emotionally. Nate was putting the kids to bed and I just laid on the floor downstairs and tried so hard to feel the baby. I told Nate that I was really getting worried and we spent a good part of that night crying, praying, trying to feel the baby, holding each other, etc. I did call my doctor that night but she told me movement at that stage in pregnancy is really unreliable and that things were probably just fine and to just come in the next morning for my scheduled appointment. Although it turned out things were NOT fine, I was actually grateful for her words because I slept well that night and was not beside myself with worry.
At my appointment the next morning she was unable to find a heartbeat and unable to see one on an ultrasound. We came to the hospital a couple hours later and began the long process of getting ready to give birth to our little guy. After hours and hours of waiting for my body to be more ready to have the baby, he was delivered around 2:30 am. There was period of time right before he was born that things were a little hectic...the anesthesiologist was having a difficult time placing the epidural and then it was kinked...and this is all happening basically as I am feeling the extreme urge to push. I delivered him quickly after those painful moments, so no epidural for the actual birth but it kicked in soon after. NOT what I had planned on, but it's over now thank goodness. We really switched gears in our minds as we chose a name and have decided on Noah Roy Nye. We chose Noah because of its meaning, which is comfort, rest, and peace. Roy is Nate's paternal grandfather who Nate has always greatly loved and respected. We both held our little 13 inch, 1 1/2 lb boy for a few minutes.
Nate and I have always had everything a couple could ask for in the years we have been married and continue to feel so blessed even during hard times like this. I loved watching the video I posted above during my stay at the hospital because so many of you have been showing the love that President Monson talks about and I hope over the years we can do the same for you and others we come in contact with.