Thursday, June 19, 2014

What All the Fuss Is About


 I sat down on the couch to write this post, baby in one arm, but I had to stand up. Leah doesn't like me to sit very often. :) It's incredibly hard to find time to blog right now (let alone eat, shower, or sleep), but I want to make sure I record my thoughts and feelings during this phase of life. So I'm doing it on my phone, with one hand, while I walk around the house so Leah will stay asleep. It took several days to actually complete this post.

Nate and I have managed to create yet another fussy baby. I don't really like to even say it because I feel like people will think I'm crazy. 4 colicky infants? 4 high need babies? 4 little ones that don't sleep well and want to us to do elevator movements with them to help them sometimes calm down? It's hard to believe that every one of them have been difficult. And each pregnancy we have thought, this one has to be easy. But that's just not how we make 'em. I definitely don't claim to have hard toddlers or hard kids in general...but babies...we have fussy babies. We've talked about it all, read about it all (reflux, my diet, gas, etc), and heard of every remedy. Some work a little bit. Mostly we just believe it's something to wait out and that she is and will be perfectly fine. 

They have all varied in difficulty of course. And Leah is very healthy and nurses like a champ. And my older 3 have been so good and really stepped up their game when my attention is on Leah 90% of the time. So I definitely don't intend for this to be a post where I complain...but I do want to document life as it is now. Before I know it I'll be looking back on this post as Leah toddles around the house. 

So many people talk about how quickly time flies with their newborn. How they want to slow it down, they want them little forever, and they enjoy this phase SO much.  A quiet, snuggly, sleeping baby IS quite possibly the closest thing to heaven. I love my babies with every fiber of my being and every ounce of me, but I would be crazy to want "this" phase to never end. I've never experienced those feelings of wanting a tiny baby to never grow up. If I'm completely honest, I can hardly wait for them to grow! At least enough to not cry so much. Or to be content while they are awake for more than 10 minutes. Or to not have my stomach in knots as she screams in her car seat almost every time we go somewhere. Not that we leave the house much. :)

I feel like "colicky" babies are a sort or private battle to be fought. They always sleep great and don't cry when you are around others. It's those hours and hours at home (often in the evening or the middle of the night) when they really drain you. Nate often does lunges to get Leah to stop crying, and I prefer the "elevator" move that's similar to a squat. Swaddling is a must. 

Some days Leah is in our arms probably 20 hours of the day. That counts feeding of course and also night time. Often at night she sleeps in the recliner with me because it's the only way either of us get any rest. She must be in a deep sleep in order for us to put her down in her bed during the day, and even then she often wakes up after about 10 minutes. She definitely prefers our arms. That gets really hard when you have 3 other kids! When she IS out of my arms I feel like I need to snuggle with Emmy and give her some attention. Leah hates her car seat. Nate and I have always been in awe of people who bring their baby to church in a car seat and the baby stays in there quietly for most of the meetings. Not Leah! We are pushing her to take the pacifier every day, but it's a lot of work to get her to take it. 

It's funny the things you crave so badly when they become difficult or are taken away. A trip to the grocery store by myself has become my idea of fun. I enjoy showers so much once I finally get to it in the day.  I want so badly to lay in my bed for an entire night instead of spending part of it pacing the house or in a recliner. And to do my hair! I can't wait to actually do my hair again. 

Our sweet little Leah is endless work, and she is also endless happiness. 


She's not smiling yet, but I snapped this picture that sure looks like she is.


I took this one evening when I took Leah on a walk to keep her happy and to get out of the house.

Shield your eyes if you feel the need...this is Emmy nursing her "baby."


Nate and I feel that children are such a blessing to our life, and these choice spirits don't come without a price. I believe pregnancy and raising a family HAS to be very hard because the joy and happiness it brings is incalculable. These rough days will pass. We've been here before. And going through them really does help us enjoy the not-so-rough days even more. 

Oh...and I cut my hand on an olive can last week. It was awful. I was beyond thankful Nate was home. He stitched it up, and it's healing great. That week we also battled fevers (Natalie and Emmy) and some long appointments at the hospital to check on my hearing problems from the pregnancy (hearing is great now). Phew. Being a mom is crazy town. 


13 comments:

lexihb said...

I get a knot in my stomach just reading this, I wish that I was closer so that I could come give you a break! No wonder you are always in such good shape, it's all those squats and lunges :) Give her a snuggle from me!

Kayla Gazdik said...

You are seriously amazing. And I hope you know what an example you are! You and your family are the best. I wish I could see you guys more often!

anna banana said...

I miss blogs, so great to hear how you are doing and about miss Leah!

Shadoe said...

You have inspired me in so many ways. I love that you still blog and 2 I need to slow down and really appreciate the little things. I am very sad that you as rent coming back but keep blogging and keep your head up cuz you as re enduring well. Miss ya

Knudson Family said...

Built in workout! Ha, but just when you'd rather be sleeping. She is a sweetheart. You must have fussy babies because you know just what to do. Keep up the great work!

Michelle said...

Oh Jessica, I feel your pain...although I truly cannot imagine doing it with THREE older kids. Reading this post brought back a flood of blurry memories, mixed with exhaustion, distress and pure joy. I absolutely love the picture of Leah smiling - even if it isn't a real smile, it is absolutely precious! And thanks for the warning about possibly wanting to close my eyes before seeing the scandalous picture of Emmy nursing her doll. :) You are too funny...and it sounds like you are doing a great job of keeping your perspective, which is so hard to do sometimes on so little sleep!! I really know what you mean about the colicky baby being a private battle...and kind of like morning sickness in that nothing really can alleviate the difficulty. You just have to keep moving through it. However, at least with infants you have moments of absolute perfection sleeping on your chest or in your arms, reassuring you that all of your sacrifice is 100% worthwhile. I wish so badly that we lived close and could have your other kids all over to play, or that I could bring you meals or do something to lighten your burden! I miss you so much and think about you often. And I think you are a rock star for blogging still!
p.s. your hair looks remarkable decent for not being done. :)

nye.jessica@gmail.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scott and Jenesee said...

I have thought of you and wondered several times lately.. You guys are amazing! Good thing they are cute and grow up!!

Kami said...

I don't know how you do it! I would go crazy! My hat goes off to you Jess. Leah is adorable though... she has the most beautiful face. That picture of Emmy "nursing" freaks me out. Can't believe you got stitches either. Oh man. Love you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Jaime Lynne said...

Happy sleep/fuss-less baby vibes coming to you from one end of the country to the other. Thank you for keeping it real!

beanland said...

Love the update, and that you wrote it on your phone. I'm sorry that you've had a FOURTH fussy baby, but I agree with you about the joy being incalculable. Hand in there, Nyes!

Meggin said...

Oh, Jess. Reading this made my heart ACHE for you. My Annie was like that--and it was maybe the hardest time I have ever lived through in my life. I had crazy ppd, too, and it was just awful. It made me never want to have a baby again. Your blog post inspired a discussion between Adam and I as we are debating whether to be happy with three or go for a fourth...
I have to say that I am totally relieved that someone as amazing as you feels the same way about having a newborn! Sometimes I think I am the worst person alive for wanting them to grow up a little!! All I can say, though, is that ultimately every sacrifice IS worth it. And they DO grow up. So hang in there. You are great!!

Kendra said...

Nate and I have said the exact same thing about each of our babies. "The next one is sure to be a happy, mellow, sleep through the night before they are one, non screamer child." Yeah it hasn't happened yet, and I am not about to find out if it ever will. It is true, they come with so much love, and are so wonderful. Those moments when they finally calm down enough for you to breath are priceless. Being a mama is super hard, but we just do it! You rock girl. Hey I have a amazing wrap that I wore a lot with Easton so i could get things done. I would LOVE to mail it to you if you want it. Message me on facebook and I will send it your way! You would love it and Leah "hopefully" would also!