I sat down on the couch to write this post, baby in one arm, but I had to stand up. Leah doesn't like me to sit very often. :) It's incredibly hard to find time to blog right now (let alone eat, shower, or sleep), but I want to make sure I record my thoughts and feelings during this phase of life. So I'm doing it on my phone, with one hand, while I walk around the house so Leah will stay asleep. It took several days to actually complete this post.
Nate and I have managed to create yet another fussy baby. I don't really like to even say it because I feel like people will think I'm crazy. 4 colicky infants? 4 high need babies? 4 little ones that don't sleep well and want to us to do elevator movements with them to help them sometimes calm down? It's hard to believe that every one of them have been difficult. And each pregnancy we have thought, this one has to be easy. But that's just not how we make 'em. I definitely don't claim to have hard toddlers or hard kids in general...but babies...we have fussy babies. We've talked about it all, read about it all (reflux, my diet, gas, etc), and heard of every remedy. Some work a little bit. Mostly we just believe it's something to wait out and that she is and will be perfectly fine.
They have all varied in difficulty of course. And Leah is very healthy and nurses like a champ. And my older 3 have been so good and really stepped up their game when my attention is on Leah 90% of the time. So I definitely don't intend for this to be a post where I complain...but I do want to document life as it is now. Before I know it I'll be looking back on this post as Leah toddles around the house.
So many people talk about how quickly time flies with their newborn. How they want to slow it down, they want them little forever, and they enjoy this phase SO much. A quiet, snuggly, sleeping baby IS quite possibly the closest thing to heaven. I love my babies with every fiber of my being and every ounce of me, but I would be crazy to want "this" phase to never end. I've never experienced those feelings of wanting a tiny baby to never grow up. If I'm completely honest, I can hardly wait for them to grow! At least enough to not cry so much. Or to be content while they are awake for more than 10 minutes. Or to not have my stomach in knots as she screams in her car seat almost every time we go somewhere. Not that we leave the house much. :)
I feel like "colicky" babies are a sort or private battle to be fought. They always sleep great and don't cry when you are around others. It's those hours and hours at home (often in the evening or the middle of the night) when they really drain you. Nate often does lunges to get Leah to stop crying, and I prefer the "elevator" move that's similar to a squat. Swaddling is a must.
Some days Leah is in our arms probably 20 hours of the day. That counts feeding of course and also night time. Often at night she sleeps in the recliner with me because it's the only way either of us get any rest. She must be in a deep sleep in order for us to put her down in her bed during the day, and even then she often wakes up after about 10 minutes. She definitely prefers our arms. That gets really hard when you have 3 other kids! When she IS out of my arms I feel like I need to snuggle with Emmy and give her some attention. Leah hates her car seat. Nate and I have always been in awe of people who bring their baby to church in a car seat and the baby stays in there quietly for most of the meetings. Not Leah! We are pushing her to take the pacifier every day, but it's a lot of work to get her to take it.
It's funny the things you crave so badly when they become difficult or are taken away. A trip to the grocery store by myself has become my idea of fun. I enjoy showers so much once I finally get to it in the day. I want so badly to lay in my bed for an entire night instead of spending part of it pacing the house or in a recliner. And to do my hair! I can't wait to actually do my hair again.
Our sweet little Leah is endless work, and she is also endless happiness.
She's not smiling yet, but I snapped this picture that sure looks like she is.
Shield your eyes if you feel the need...this is Emmy nursing her "baby."
Nate and I feel that children are such a blessing to our life, and these choice spirits don't come without a price. I believe pregnancy and raising a family HAS to be very hard because the joy and happiness it brings is incalculable. These rough days will pass. We've been here before. And going through them really does help us enjoy the not-so-rough days even more.
Oh...and I cut my hand on an olive can last week. It was awful. I was beyond thankful Nate was home. He stitched it up, and it's healing great. That week we also battled fevers (Natalie and Emmy) and some long appointments at the hospital to check on my hearing problems from the pregnancy (hearing is great now). Phew. Being a mom is crazy town.